Lose the Story

There is a gym close to my house that has a sign that says "Lose the Story". I wondered for a long time "What the heck does that mean?" I did eventually asked someone what it meant. It means the stop using the same excuses every time you want to exercise and just do it. So I decided in order for me to lose my story I needed to document my story. So here it goes.....

Before I start I need to make it known that my Religion(I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), my Heavenly Father and Savior are a major part of my life. I rely on them daily and I know that anything is possible with their help.

I will start in Junior High and High School. I wasn't "fat" but boy did I think I was. I had a horrible self esteem. I would go through phases of feeling really well and then just feel horrible about myself. Through these years I was a size 10-12 which I would love to be right now. There was a group of girls that we all grew up in the same neighborhood and they were all size 0-2 and 4. Skinny little ladies. Is it their fault they were skinny? No. So why should that effect my self esteem? It shouldn't but it did. I was the girl who was the "friend" of all the boys. I was the girl who all of the boys would come and talk to in order to get closer to my girlfriends. It was awesome.(Sarcasm) I had one friend in particular that after she found out which boy I liked she would go after him and he would fall for her. But that is another subject altogether.

I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining....I'm not. I am generally a very positive person and I don't mean to make it sound like I was depressed my whole school experience...I wasn't. But these were the things that did effect me and have molded me into the person that I am now.

After High School I blossomed. I was still a size 10 but really did love who I was. I went to college and had the time of my life. I met one of my soul sisters, and made lots of friends. It was a very special time in my life. After only one semester I came home for Christmas break and met my future husband. We were married 7 months later.

Marriage came with new challenges. I knew that I had been sexually abused when I was younger but I had never had any symptoms come about until I was married and being intimate. This brought on a lot of things I was not prepared to deal with. (On a side note I want you to know that I am married to the most wonderful, supportive and understanding man. He has always been there for me and has never made me feel crazy. I love him.)

So thus began the counseling. I started going weekly to counseling. I have been to 3 different counselors over the past 11 years off and on. With counseling came my emotional eating. My favorite comfort foods....Mcdonalds strawberry shakes, fries and basically anything. I LOVE going out to eat.

Along with this came 3 wonderful children. My 3rd child was born with a heart defect and was consequently in the hospital for the first four months of his life. He ultimately needed a heart transplant. He has recovered remarkably and is doing so well and is almost 3 years old. While he was in the hospital once again the emotional eating continued. My food of choice was Snickers and Dr.Pepper(the Dr.Pepper at Primary Childrens Hospital is the best!)

So here I am 31 years old, a loving husband and 3 beautiful children. And I am ready to start this new adventure. Am I scared? Petrified! But I know that with prayer and hard work I can do it. Lets get it on!!!!