Hello again

8 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I am so in love and so grateful that she has joined our little family. She is literally a perfect baby. She sleeps through the night and has slept through the night, minus a night here and there, since she was born. I know, I am so spoiled. She is a great eater, is happy all the time and is a wonderful snuggler. I'm in love. She has been such a joy and a blessing. With that being said 4 kids is HARD!! I always feel that the first year after a baby is the hardest. It is hard on family dynamics on my marriage, my body, and pretty much everything else. I started going back to GPP after a year break. I know that a lot of people say that exercising is great to do while your pregnant but I was so worried that I would do something to hurt the baby that I chose not to. So I have a lot of catch up to do.
It has been hard to start working out again. Before I got pregnant I felt great, I was stronger than I had ever been and was definitely way more healthy. So I feel like I am starting at ground zero again. I keep comparing it to last time. For instance, last time I started I had already lost 20 lbs by this point. I also am heavier now than when I started last time. I know the number on the scale shouldn't matter, but it does.
I was plugging a long and had started the dreaded "burst" diet, that sucks ass but it works. And then I got the black plague, ok not actually the black plague but definitely a cousin. I have been in bed for a week and after 6 days finally feeling like I might live. On top of me being sick ALL 4 of my kids had the stomach flu. "VOMIT for everyone!" And now my husband is getting over the illness as well. NOT FUN!! So now after washing every blanket, towel and article of clothing in my house and throwing away all of the pillow pets and stuffed animals that could have been carriers of the disease I need to start again...again.
I need some strategies......
1. I need to think of this not as a "diet" (yuck, I hate that word) but as getting "healthy"
2. I need to not care what other people think. I can still be fun and not eat yucky(delicious) fattening food. It is ok if I order a water and you order a diet coke. I don't think I am better than you, at all!! If I say I can't go out to eat with you it isn't because I don't love you and that I don't want to spend time with you it is because I am weak. And food is my biggest weakness.
3. Life is a journey. I want so so soooo badly to be the skinny girl. I want to feel beautiful. I want to put on a pair of pants and not feel like a blob. I wish I wasn't so shallow but it is what it is.
4.Don't wait until Monday, start Today!!
5.My body created 4 incredible, beautiful, strong and magnificent little human beings. That is something to be proud of.
6. I CAN DO HARD THINGS!!

That is it for now.
It feels better to get all of these thoughts out of my head.
...............I fear that I will fail.

Sabatoge!!

I am feeling so overwhelmed, frustrated, annoyed and pretty much depressed. I like everywhere you turn there is FOOD big stinking, nasty, delicious, fattening, FOOD!! Everyday I have to fight, literally fight an inner battle with myself on whether or not I am going to eat the "food". Halloween completely did me in. I did so so good all day, I told myself I was not going to eat any candy, I was NOT! But then I went trick or treating with my adorable little monsters and it was like I had never seen or tasted candy before. The crazy thing is that if I say I can have candy I am completely good not eating it. But the second I limit myself I am all over that stuff that flys on poo. ARRRRGGGGG!!!!

Then there is family/friends who seem to be eating whatever they want, sipping that delicious soda or eating that spectacular sugar cookie, etc. I just want to stay in my house for the next two months and not go anywhere so that I don't have to worry about food. Going to my in laws is like walking into dieters hell(I love my inlaws). But there is candy everywhere. In bowls, a whole drawer is dedicated to just candy. There are all kinds of chips and a whole fridge of soda. For family dinners we have appetizers before the main dinner which is a dinner itself and then there is more food and more food. And then there are people that if you are not eating then you have offended them or they act like I think I am better than them. I'M NOT!! I just want to be healthy! I don't want to look at pictures of me and my kids growing up and think...yuck when I see myself. I don't want this to be a life long struggle I just want to find the magic key or the magic solution so it won't be so stinking hard for me.
I don't want to diet I just want to be healthy. And of course this is the worst time of year for Sabatoge. All those delicious holiday treats. I honestly do not know how I lost the weight last year. I am trying to do the same thing and it is just not happening. I am FRUSTRATED!! 

Gum and Water

I'm still pluggin away at the burst. Tomorrow is my day off and I am excited. I weighed myself on Monday and was down 3 pounds. I was pretty excited but I know that could be a fluke so my official weigh in is tomorrow. So we shall see what comes of that.

I have decided the thing that is helping me a lot is my Extra Peppermint gum and always having a water jug full of ice with me at all times. It is amazing how different I fill when I just drink enough water. So go drink some water.

That is all.

Day 4!

I made it!! Today is my first day off and I get to have 2000 calories today! Guess what I had for breakfast.....a piece of pumpkin pie!! YUMMY! I saved it from Ellies birthday party that we had yesterday. It was very hard not to eat but it was worth the wait.

The link

Here is the link to GPP fitness.
http://gppfitness.com/weight-loss-diets/
Just so you know I am HUNGRY!! Last time I did the burst I was in detox/withdrawal mode for a week or two. It is hard and it is mostly mind over food. We can do this!! I can't wait for my cottage cheese and banana!!

The next 30 lbs.

I have struggled for a while with the motivation to keep going. Keep losing weight. I am very stubborn and strong willed and do not like to be told what to do. So when someone or something tells me I cannot eat "that" then I immediately and defiantly want to eat "that".

So I am hoping that documenting the journey on this blog will help motivate me to keep keeping on. I will be starting the burst cycle diet for the next 6 weeks. This is how I lost my first 30 lbs. It is hard and emotionally taxing but it provides results. I will also be working out daily. For a while I have been really motivated on Monday and by Wednesday or Thursday that motivation fizzles.

I know that it is going to be crazy hard, especially during this time of year. It is my favorite. I love to bake in the cool weather, I love chocolate, I love caramel apples and most of all I love pie. I want to say that I love my body more but right now that would be a lie. So I will take it one day at a time and one bowl of cottage cheese at a time and try to enjoy the journey. Anyone want to join me?

Exercise High!!

Yesterday I did this workout. 

I remember this workout very vividly because it was one of the very first workouts that I did when I started going to GPP. It was insanely hard and I walked(and probably cried) most of the way. It took me a very very long time and I remember being so discouraged. I wondered if I was always going to be the last one to finish the workouts or if I was ever going to "RX" a workout. 

Almost exactly one year later I did this workout again and I was NOT the last person finished (not there is anything wrong with being last because I usually am still last), and I ran almost the whole time(minus a few feet here and there). I felt incredible!! It was so awesome to see the comparison in just one short year. I was seriously so proud of myself and so grateful for GPP!

I feel better, I have way more energy, and I actually look better.

Am I a superfit status? Not even close. I have never been athletic or fit, but I see the progression that I have made and it has just motivated me more to keep keeping on!!