8 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful little girl. I am so in love and so grateful that she has joined our little family. She is literally a perfect baby. She sleeps through the night and has slept through the night, minus a night here and there, since she was born. I know, I am so spoiled. She is a great eater, is happy all the time and is a wonderful snuggler. I'm in love. She has been such a joy and a blessing. With that being said 4 kids is HARD!! I always feel that the first year after a baby is the hardest. It is hard on family dynamics on my marriage, my body, and pretty much everything else. I started going back to GPP after a year break. I know that a lot of people say that exercising is great to do while your pregnant but I was so worried that I would do something to hurt the baby that I chose not to. So I have a lot of catch up to do.
It has been hard to start working out again. Before I got pregnant I felt great, I was stronger than I had ever been and was definitely way more healthy. So I feel like I am starting at ground zero again. I keep comparing it to last time. For instance, last time I started I had already lost 20 lbs by this point. I also am heavier now than when I started last time. I know the number on the scale shouldn't matter, but it does.
I was plugging a long and had started the dreaded "burst" diet, that sucks ass but it works. And then I got the black plague, ok not actually the black plague but definitely a cousin. I have been in bed for a week and after 6 days finally feeling like I might live. On top of me being sick ALL 4 of my kids had the stomach flu. "VOMIT for everyone!" And now my husband is getting over the illness as well. NOT FUN!! So now after washing every blanket, towel and article of clothing in my house and throwing away all of the pillow pets and stuffed animals that could have been carriers of the disease I need to start again...again.
I need some strategies......
1. I need to think of this not as a "diet" (yuck, I hate that word) but as getting "healthy"
2. I need to not care what other people think. I can still be fun and not eat yucky(delicious) fattening food. It is ok if I order a water and you order a diet coke. I don't think I am better than you, at all!! If I say I can't go out to eat with you it isn't because I don't love you and that I don't want to spend time with you it is because I am weak. And food is my biggest weakness.
3. Life is a journey. I want so so soooo badly to be the skinny girl. I want to feel beautiful. I want to put on a pair of pants and not feel like a blob. I wish I wasn't so shallow but it is what it is.
4.Don't wait until Monday, start Today!!
5.My body created 4 incredible, beautiful, strong and magnificent little human beings. That is something to be proud of.
6. I CAN DO HARD THINGS!!
That is it for now.
It feels better to get all of these thoughts out of my head.
...............I fear that I will fail.
